Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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