Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Fuck appropriateness.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize