i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
