yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
