Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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