I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Randomize