And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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