He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
