SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
