i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Randomize
