I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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