his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
