if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
