i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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