i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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