I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
