There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize