Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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