I hate your face
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
