you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
