Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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