After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
