No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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