Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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