every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She bit a glass in half.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
