I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Sober January is a disaster.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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