loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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