Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
