Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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