so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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