ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
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