He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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