it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
