Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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