i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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