Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is Oprah even human
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He has the fingertips of a God
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