Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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