You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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