no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
