Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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