She said her name was "party"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
