the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize