K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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