Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
did i just pee glitter
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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