Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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