I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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