i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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