Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
