butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
