am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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