Kiss
Puke
I just saw a hot homeless man
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
