at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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