Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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