May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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