On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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