Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Will you blow on my dice?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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