If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
