Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
