We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
