Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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