how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
