Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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