so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Randomize