i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize