Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
