i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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