your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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