I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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