I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
