I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
