I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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