ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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