Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
