would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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