I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
