Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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