Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
