I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
