I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
