Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
