How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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