who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I believe in your delicious
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize